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(I Don't Remember It) That Way

from From a City by the Sea by Out of System Transfer

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lyrics

It’s the funniest thing that happens to me,
When you’re talking about old times.
And your memories of the words and the deeds
Are intolerably different from mine.

Things that I haven’t thought of in years
just come rushing back, leaving me stunned.
It was ’99, right after Columbine,
What a terrible time to be young.

And that’s all it takes and I’m right back here.
It smells like shit and body spray and fear.
It’s half a lifetime back behind me now, but it’s all still crystal clear.

I remember sticking to the darkest of corners,
Vaguely certain that exposure was death.
And you remember waiting with open arms
Wondering when I was gonna come up for breath.

You thought all you needed to do was be patient,
I thought all I had to do was be strong.
There were times when the double life really was,
Twice as nice, don’t get me wrong.

Lovers introduced as friends appeared and disappeared
People come and go so quickly here
Nursed my wounds in secret like a gangster, and went on for 3 more years.

And I’m not holding grudges,
I’m not saying that I think about it every day.

Things are really so much better,
It gets hard to imagine that I ever really lived that way.

But when you brought it up the other day,
It’s like the years just melt away,
And there’s nothing I can do but say,
“I don’t remember it that way”

I remember long days looking over my shoulder,
Longer evenings trying hard to forget.
You remember bland assurances from over the table,
Wonderin if that’s all you were gonna get

You remember shrugging when you’d try to reach over,
and I’d push back with unnatural force.
But the rubber disguise and the lies upon lies,
I just took it as a matter of course.

Do you remember getting called down to the office?
When the nurse had found me bleeding from my ear
I sat you down and told you everything, that I thought you’d want to hear.

Yeah, when you brought it up the other day,
It’s like the years just melt away,
And there’s nothing I can do but say,
“I don’t remember it that way”

credits

from From a City by the Sea, released August 1, 2019

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Out of System Transfer New York

NYC's gonzo anti-folk punk rock radical leftist hootenanny!

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